Background Information
When it comes to topics surrounding gender in China, few are more heavily discussed than marriage. Chinese parents are often described as being greatly concerned with their children finding partners to marry. However, women often receive more pressure to marry than men, and women who pass 30 years of age unmarried are sometimes referred to as ‘leftover women’ 剩女 (shèngnǚ). This pressure has even driven some women to rent boyfriends to show their families during New Years celebrations. This is done to abate dinner table conversations pushing the topic of marriage and warning young female family members of the dreaded 30 year mark. At the same time, women are often pressured to stay at home rather than join the labor force. Recent data show that the percentage of females in the labor force has been decreasing in the past three decades, a fact that contradicts the Communist Party’s emphasis on gender equality during the 1950’s and 60’s.
The Pressure to Get Married is Tearing China’s Families Apart (Sixth Tone)
It’s Complicated: Chinese Millennials and Marriage (Sixth Tone)
Inkstone’s index: China’s shrinking female labor force (Inkstone)
理想的男朋友 The Ideal Boyfriend
Suggested Level
Context Information: Mae is an American student, and 如风 (Rǔfēng) is a domestic Chinese student. They are discussing their thoughts on relationships, marriage, and their ideal partner.
Mae: 噢,我还没想1我毕业以后想做什么。
如风: 嫁一个好老公。
Mae: (laughing) 这一定不是,怎么说,理想的方向。
如风: 那不一定,可能到最后发现这是个最好的,嫁一个非常好的老公。
Mae: 可是我不想那样。
如风: 像比尔盖茨2!
Mae: 我不想要,怎么说3,依赖我的老公。
如风: 嗯。
Mae: 要挣自己的钱。
如风: 对我也想这个样子。
Mae: 当然如果有个有钱有能力非常——
如风: 比尔盖茨。
Mae: 成功的老公
如风: 对对对!
Mae: 那当然非常好可是我希望我可以跟我的老公一样的成功,你知道我的意思吗?(laughing) 你没有这样的要求吗?
如风: 我有啊,我甚至很久以前,因为我有一些大女子就是创业或者什么的很久很久以前有一阵子我特别希望我的,我比我的老公要成功得多。
Mae: 嗯。
如风: Mhmm。
Mae: 真的?
如风: 都要比我的老公成功,有一段时间我是这样想的。
Mae: 嗯。
如风: 但是后来觉得这不太好,我会很累。
Mae: 为什么?
如风: 我会很累,就相当于我在养一个人。
Mae: 噢。
如风: 而且男孩子——
Mae: 可是那不代表他不会有工作4。
如风: 对。
Mae: 就是说你比他成功可能你的工资——
如风: 会比他高。
Mae: 高一点点,可是可能——
如风: 所以总共——
Mae: 也不会差那么多。
如风: 是,我是,我想的是可能会找一个——
Mae: 可是等你
如风: 一般般的老公,但我会变得非常好。
Mae: 非常好。
如风: 对之前我是这样想的但这样的话——
Mae: 可是如果是一份你非常喜欢的工作那可能对你来说,会,就是需要很努力可是你不会觉得太,苦?
如风: Mhmm。
Mae: 因为就是你喜欢的?
如风: 对。
Mae: 不知道,可是我觉得——
如风: 然后——
Mae: 女人养她们的老公是挺,挺骄傲的。
如风: 差不多但是你在中国这就不太好了。
Mae: 对在中国当然可是——
如风: 因为——
Mae: 我觉得现在在西方这是,慢慢变成一个就是非常——
如风: 流行吗?
Mae: 不是流行就是,怎么说,让人欣赏的东西的5行为。
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1. Since Mae is stating that she has yet to consider this topic, she should use 过 (guo). This sentence should read 我还没想过我毕业以后想做什么 (wǒ háiméixiǎngguo wǒ bìyè yǐhòu xiǎng zuò shénme).
2. 比尔・盖茨 (Bǐ’ěr・Gàicī) is the Chinese name for Bill Gates.
3. 怎么说 (zěnme shuō) means ‘how do you say’. Here, Mae is using it to ponder what word to say next. Nonnative speakers will often find
4. Mae is trying to say something like ‘that doesn’t mean that he can’t get a job’. 那不代表他不会有工作 (nà bù dàibiǎo tā bù huì yǒu gōngzuò) means something like ‘that doesn’t mean that he will not have a job’. This sentence should read something like 那不代表他没有工作 (nà bù dàibiǎo tā méiyǒu gōngzuò) ‘that doesn’t mean that he does not have a job’.
5. Here, 东西 (dōngxi) ‘thing’ might sound a bit strange to a native speaker. Generally, 东西 refers to a physical object. 行为 (xíngwéi) ‘behavior’ is an abstract idea and not something physical.
Vocabulary
- 嫁 (jià) To marry (for a woman)
- 理想 (lǐxiǎng) Ideal
- 方向 (fāngxiàng) Situation
- 比尔盖茨 (bǐ’ěr gàicí) Bill Gates
- 依赖 (yīlài) To rely on
- 挣钱 (zhèngqián) To make money
- 能力 (nénglì) Ability
- 要求 (yāoqiú) Requirement
- 甚至 (shènzhì) So much that
- 创业 (chuàngyè) To pioneer; to undertake
- 一阵子 (yīzhènzi) A flash; in a short period of time
- 相当于 (xiāngdāngyú) To be equivalent to
- 代表 (dàibiǎo) To represent
- 工资 (gōngzī) Pay; salary
- 总共 (zōnggòng) Altogether
- 努力 (núlì) To try hard
- 苦 (kǔ) Bitter; hard to accept
- 骄傲 (jiāo’ào) Proud
- 西方 (xīfāng) The West
- 流行 (liúxíng) Popular; trendy
- 欣赏 (xīnshǎng) To enjoy
- 行为 (xíngwéi) Behavior