Friends

Just like the typical college life in the U.S., study abroad students also frequently discuss their social relationships and friendships in their dorm rooms. In this category, there are conversations about boyfriends/girlfriends, friends at school, and relationship in general. They also gossip about their friends in Chinese.

Exercises

Task 1 Sharing Personal Experience Task (Discussing Relationship)

Objectives: Students will be able to familiarize themselves with vocabulary and topics related to issues concerning views and opinions on relationships. Students will also be able to discuss their views on gender differences in intimate relationships. This task could be used as a warm-up task at the beginning of this module. Suggested time for this task: 15-20 minutes.

Directions: 

1.1 Listen/Read the dialogue between Mae and 如风 (Friends 1 dialogue). In groups of 3-4, discuss what they are talking about in the dialogue. 

Discussion questions: What are R and M talking about? How did they get around to discussing these topics? What kinds of ideal boyfriends/husbands do Mae and 如风 want to have in the future? What are the key elements of their ideal boyfriend/husband? 

1.2 Listen/Read the dialogue again. In the dialogue, Mae and 如风 talked about “女人养她们的老公是挺，骄傲的”. What does 如风 think about this comment? How does Mae think about this phenomenon in the U.S.? Discuss with your group and share your evaluations of this comment. Give at least three examples to support your opinion. 

1.3 Discuss with your group. What are some important aspects you will consider in a future partner? Why are they important? 

Directions in Chinese: 

1.1 她们讨论了什么问题？她们是怎么讨论到这个话题的？Mae和如风分别希望将来理想的另一半是什么样的？她们主要讨论的理想的另一半的哪些方面？

1.2 再次听/读对话，在对话中她们提到“女人养她们的老公是挺，骄傲的”。如风对这个是如何看待的？Mae呢？和你的组员讨论你对这个评论的看法。给出至少三个例子来支持你的观点。

1.3 和你的组员讨论分享，你认为找另一半要考虑的最重要的方面是什么？为什么？

Task 2 Sharing Personal Experience Task (Talking about Current Partners) 

Objectives: Students will be able to familiarize themselves with vocabulary and topics related to issues concerning discussions of current friends/partners and making friends. This task could be used as a warm-up task at the beginning of this module. Suggested time for this task: 15-20 minutes.

Directions: 

2.1 Listen/Read the dialogues between Zolton and 传祥 (Friends 2 dialogue). In groups of 3-4, summarize the key terms of their discussion. Discuss your views and opinions towards how to best get along with friends/partners and how to make friends in different contexts. 

Discussion questions: What are Zolton and 传祥 talking about in this dialogue? Based on the dialogue, how is the relationship between 传祥 and his girlfriend? Please give at least three examples to illustrate your point. What does Zolton mean when he says “所以新的女朋友在哪儿” and what’s his attitude towards the relationship between 传祥 and his girlfriend? 

2.2 Listen/Read the dialogues between Zolton and 传祥 again. What are some problems mentioned in the dialogue between 传祥 and his girlfriend? 

Nowadays in China, a lot of break up in young generations are due to “三观不合”. “三观” in this context usually means ideas and values towards the world. Do you think it is important that you share the same ideas/values with your friends/partner? How to deal with the situations when you have different opinions with your friends/partner? Discuss and share your opinions with your group. 

Directions in Chinese: 

2.1 听/读Zolton和传祥 (Friends 2 dialogue)的对话，他们在讨论什么问题？根据对话内容，传祥和他的女朋友关系怎么样？请至少给出三个例子来说说你的观点。Zolton说“所以新的女朋友在哪儿”是什么意思？他对传祥和他女朋友关系的态度是什么样的？

2.2 再次听/读对话2。在对话中，传祥提到和他女朋友存在哪些问题？现如今在中国，很多年轻人分手是因为“三观不合”。“三观”是指对世界的态度和看法。你认为交朋友/交男女朋友的时候三观合适重要吗？如果你和你的朋友/男女朋友有意见不合的时候，你会如何解决？和你的组员讨论并分享你的看法。

Task 3 Project and Creative Task 

Objectives: Students will be able to evaluate and analyze specific issues related to friendship, relationship, and making friends. Students will also be able to cooperate with group members and practice reading, writing, and speaking skills upon completing this task. This task could be divided into two class hours, after the warm-up discussions on the two dialogues (for instance, first using it as a main activity of a regular class to practice reading skills, and then as a homework assignment to prepare for group presentations). Suggested time for this task: 45 min for the reading for the first class + 100 min for presentation or assigned as homework + 8-10 min per group presentation in the following class. 

Directions: 

3.1 Warm-up discussions

3.1.1 In Friends Dialogue 1, Mae and 如风 discussed their “ideal partner” in the future and the power differences in intimate relationships. What kinds of cultural differences in relationship dynamics did they discuss between China and the U.S.? Do you agree with them? 

3.1.2 In Friends Dialogue 2, Zolton and 传祥 talked about problems in their current relationships. How do you avoid conflicts when you have different views with your friends/partner? 

Directions in Chinese: 

3.1.1 第一段对话中，Mae和如风讨论了“理想的男朋友”以及恋爱关系中的权力问题。针对这个问题，她们提到了中国和美国对这个问题有哪些不同？你同意她们的看法吗？

3.1.2 第二段对话中，Zolton和传祥讨论现有恋爱关系中存在的一些问题。你认为在和你的朋友/男女朋友产生不同意见的时候，该如何避免争吵？

3.2 Reading comprehension and discussions (45 min)

Directions: 

Read the article below for the reading comprehension and discussions:

Article on making friends with Americans: “要和美国人交朋友千万不要犯这5个错误”

Original Resource: https://www.italki.com/notebook/987013/entry/688934

Reading Excerpt (Language Revised):

要和美国人交朋友千万不要犯这5个错误

1     以为美国人都很开放。欧洲人眼中的美国人其实比较保守。而且，每个国家都有保守和开放的人。我以前在深圳教过一个湖南男人英文。他告诉我，据他在美国留学的朋友说，美国人都经常开”sex parties”。我跟他说这种活动非常少，一个典型的美国人没参加过。他拒绝了我的答案，说我比普通美国人保守多了，所以不知那种活动多么普遍。我那时候真的无语。他除了我以外，连一个美国人都不认识，也没去过西方，还那么确定。电视电影不代表真正的生活。和外国人交流时，要认真地听他们怎么说，不要以为自己比美国人更理解美国文化。 

2    把我们当做傻X。少数美国人确实不会关注别的国家，但是学普通话的老外，特别是在华的老外，都至少学过最基本的中国文化和历史。我们都听过毛主席、春节、台湾等等。对我们有一点信心吧。我们同样也不会问你你知不知道奥巴马是谁、有没有听过纽约之类的问题。

3    经常评论我们的外貌。很多美国人虽然好像很有自信，但是实际上心里很敏感。美国人认为不管是朋友还是陌生人，当面批评别人的外貌是没礼貌的。有的人认为连爸妈都不该批评子女的外貌。中国亲戚朋友之间没什么恶意的“你胖了”、“又起痘痘了”、“胸大一点就好了”都可能得罪美国人。有的美国人听到了这些话好像无所谓，不一定代表他们真正的感情反应，所以要小心一点。

其实，经常夸你的美国朋友长得好看也可能让他们觉得尴尬，甚至可能让他们怀疑你的动机。总的来说，我们都有镜子，没必要提醒人家自己长得怎么样。 

4    不停地“讲课”。我知道这种人应该是只想帮我们多了解中国的丰富文化，但是我们要通过双方对话和交流才能成为好朋友。

5    以为我们都很外向。很多在美国的留学生，特别是东亚的学生，跟我说过他们不知道怎么开始跟美国人聊天。他们以为如果我们真的想和他们交朋友，就会主动。结果，也会以为一个美国人不主动地和你聊天意味着他对你没兴趣。你可能不知道，据研究，很多美国人对外国人也是这么想的。美国也有害羞的人。而且，美国的种族关系情况很糟糕，导致美国人特别害怕自己的行为会看作是种族歧视。有时候这种想法会阻止非黄种美国人和亚洲人交流。你下次想和一个美国人聊天，不要紧张，他可能对你也很好奇。

以上的是我和我的美国朋友们发现的问题。欢迎别的美国人表示自己的看法。当然也欢迎中国人分享自己的体验和想法。希望你们知道了这些就可以交一万美国朋友。

Multiple Choice/选择题：

In groups of 3-4, summarize the key points of this article and fill in the table below. 

Directions in Chinese: 阅读文章，“要和美国人交朋友千万不要犯这5个错误”。三到四人一组，完成下面的图表。

Discuss: Do you agree with the author’s opinion on the five “mistakes”? Why or why not? 你同意作者说的这五个不能犯的“错误”吗？为什么（不）？

3.3 Presentation task (100 min in class or assigned as homework)

Directions: Now that you’ve learned more about issues concerning friends and making friends, discuss the topic of “intercultural communication” and prepare an 8-10 minute group presentation. First, comment on the some potential communication problems when making friends with someone from a different culture. Give at least three potential problem areas and provide an example for each point. Then, share your thoughts and views on how to deal with intercultural miscommunication with friends. Finally, summarize your presentation. 

Directions in Chinese: 这一课我们了解了关于朋友和交朋友的问题。3-4人一组，从两个话题中选择一个准备一个8-10分钟的报告，包含以下内容。首先说一说和不同文化的人交朋友的过程中可能会遇到的一些问题和困难。介绍至少三个方面并且给出例子。然后分享一下你对如何解决跨文化交际中可能出现的问题。最后总结报告的主要内容。

Task 4 Additional reading and comprehension question

Directions: 

Read article on Gaymis: “What are Gaymis?” 什么是“Gay蜜”: An investigation of Chinese subcultures and discuss the following questions. 

Directions in Chinese: 

阅读文章“什么是Gay蜜”然后讨论以下问题。

Original Resource: https://saisobserver.org/2018/12/26/what-are-gaymis-%E4%BB%80%E4%B9%88%E6%98%AFgay%E8%9C%9C-an-investigation-of-chinese-subcultures/

Text:

2018年10月24日，南京大学人类学研究所邓国基（Chris Tan）副教授应邀来到中美中心，为师生们带来了一场新颖且精彩的讲座——“Gay蜜”：中国济南新兴的“女汉子”及“直女”与男同性恋者之间的亲密友谊。邓国基教授曾在2002年获得耶鲁大学东亚研究的硕士学位，并于2011年获得美国伊利诺伊大学香槟城分校的人类学博士学位。他的研究兴趣集中于社会性别与性，对新加坡、中国大陆及台湾的同性恋群体也颇有研究。

“Gay蜜”一词，指的是成为女性亲密朋友的男同性恋者，是英文“gay”与汉语“闺蜜”两个词的有机结合。邓教授以“新兴男子气概”（Emergent  Masculinity）概念的阐释为基础，通过在中国济南长达一年的实证研究，对中国“Gay蜜”亚文化进行了深度探索。邓教授的研究聚焦于这种亲密关系中的女性，而非Gay蜜本身的特质。换言之，其研究的关键问题是为何当下中国会出现这样一批希望拥有男同性恋亲密朋友的女性群体。

邓教授认为，女性更愿意与其男同性恋朋友们讨论与时尚、爱情、性等话题，一方面是因为她们获益于独身子女政策而变得更加自信，另一方面是因为日本的BL (Boy’s Love)文化及韩国的花美男 (KKonminam)文化在中国日益盛行。最后，邓教授指出，目前来看，“Gay蜜”的出现源于中国都市女性的需求，而非男同性恋们的自我认同，这也并不代表男同性恋者不再属于社会边缘群体。

讲座结束后，中美中心的师生们积极提问，就“Gay蜜”的流行是否会提高大众对LGBT群体的接受程度、“直女”与中国历史上的“革命女性”之间的关系等系列问题与邓教授展开了进一步的讨论。中心的颜同学表示，中国的性少数群体是不可忽视的存在，这场别开生面的讲座让她对中国当下的性别文化有了更新的认知。

讨论问题：

1. 什么是“Gay蜜”？ 请用你自己的话解释。
2. 谁会有”Gay蜜“？为什么？（两个方面）
3. “Gay蜜”在中国的流行有什么好处？为什么？
4. 你怎么看待“Gay蜜”?